I want to believe. I think the world can be a fairly boring place sometimes. But a world of people crying “fake news,” offering “alternative facts,” and bonkers Q claims of Satanic, child molesting pizza shops has made me jaded to conspiracy theories. I never believed them but I can’t even pretend to enjoy them these days. At the start of the Covid pandemic however, I started my own alternatively true conspiracy theories involving our favorite explorer: Reynold the dog. He looks so innocent…read on and find out the sinister side of Renny! Feel free to click on the pictures to enlarge them.
Sherlock has Dr. Watson. Hunter Thompson has Dr. Gonzo. Somewhere in-between I have Dr. Jen. She’s the brains of this outfit. She has the social grace I lack. She can reach top shelves I can’t. She’s got style, she’s got flair, she’s always there, she’s Dr. Jen! And as of last Friday, she’s 40!
I believe I was in Rock City when I met a friendly couple also taking a big trip. He was trying to knock out his “50 by 50,” meaning he had to visit each state before his 50th birthday. That’s great and all, but I don’t feel that spending a few hours in a state or hiking a state park really counts as a visit. Instead I made it my goal to sleep in all 50 states. I figure even a one night stand with a state counts as a visit. My recent dogsled trip ticked 4 more states off my list. So here’s some updated maps to keep track of my wanderings.
Actually that’s not true. My mom makes a great turkey. In fact she’s a terrific cook, except when it comes to pork chops. Growing up we ate them a lot and I would smother them in as much gravy as I could swipe. It wasn’t until I was an adult and someone gave me a delicious one that I realized they weren’t supposed to have the consistency of hockey pucks! But today wasn’t about pork. It was about turkey.
So what does an extremely amateur travel blogger do during a pandemic? Turns out not a lot beyond gain weight. I found out having snacks on hand and little reason to walk around is not a good thing. Sure I take the dog for a walk but even he gets bored of my company. At least I’m back at work now where snacks aren’t as easy to access. So this is a quick update on my lack of traveling.
My old roommates Jeff, Brandon, and I use to have Benny Hill micro-parties. That just meant we would put on the Benny Hill theme song and chase each other around doing stupid things like hiding behind house plants or bopping each other with rolling pins. I channeled those old days for my last adventure, entitled Quarantine Qut. I was looking pretty shaggy having not seen George in 3 months. I couldn’t take it any longer, bought some clippers, and forced Jen to take up a new trade. Enjoy the video. Watch it with sound for the full effect.
I think she did a great job! The rubric is filled out as an average of both of our scores. She almost had a meltdown on her first zip with the trimmer as a lot of my hair fluttered to the ground. She’s happy with the results but hated the entire process. It was too stressful. For the record, trimmers are not cheap and they’re hard to get on Amazon right now.
Today is my 41st birthday and I got them all in! It’s been a great year, thank you for celebrating it with me.
Oh man, are you getting sick of seeing how I spend my meager salary on frivolous “adventures?” Too bad! You’re in store for more! Contained within this holy text is an adventure you’re taking with me, dear reader.
And it continues, more text babble about my stupid antics. Please enjoy and don’t judge me too harshly.
So we continue on my short little adventures, slowly making our way to 40. These started in August and I was staying right on course. About a quarter of the year down at the point I wrote this and, including big adventures, about a quarter the way through the goal. I started having concerns about keeping this up though. Adventures during the summer months are easy, what happens when it gets cold?
Herein lies the tale of my 40th year. What I mean to say is below are some of the additional 27 adventures I’ve taken to make it up to 40 adventures in a year! If you’ve been following each of my monthly large adventures, you might be disappointed with the size/excitement of these. If that’s the case, move to another blog that has more money and vacation time. That cattle drive tapped me out. These are the small adventures for which I still had some time and money left over.