Reisen ist die gesündeste Sucht

Two of my besties are brothers. This is both good and bad. It’s cool because knowing both makes me part of their family. I’m not just Travis’s friend or Tyler’s friend when I stop by (yep, all 3 brothers have T names, nope I’m neither friends nor unfriendly with Trevor). When I come over it’s “Hey Andy, the family friend!”

Having two close friends who are brothers can be bad because I constantly have to fear if I piss one off will the other hate me as well? That’s a BOGO of lost friends! It only takes one small, inappropriate drunken joke for my house to come falling down. Fortunately these two know my inappropriate humor isn’t malicious, it’s just me being silly. Christ how many things has Travis heard me confess as I puked out my drunken guts on the side of a road? He’s probably heard things I can’t even remember doing! Thanks for being my frequent DD, buddy, and keeping those secrets to yourself!

Holy cow, where is this post going?! I wanted to talk about an upcoming wedding I’m going to in Hamburg, Germany (actually north of)! It’s Tyler’s which is kind of bullshit since he’s already married. His wife, Ann, is from Germany. They met in the Peace Corps and now he’s over doing German things as one is wont to do. They came to the US to get married and go to my awesome 4th of July party (mostly the latter). So he’s already married but they’re pretending they aren’t so they can get a party at a church or something like that.

Anywho this has become a 2 stage trip for me. I’ve arrived for country 1 (not counting the layover in London). I am in Heide, Germany. It’s a perfectly lovely town and I’m happy to be here but not a lot going on. The #1 recommended site on Trip Advisor is a water tower. It looks to be a nice water tower and I plan on seeing it, but seriously a water tower? Up your game, Heide!

When my mom got sick I promised I’d take her to Ireland (a dream spot for her). Well she got cleared to travel. The day after the wedding we fly into Dublin for what I believe is an old people bus tour. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it, but I bet we won’t be stopping for Leprechaun mini-golf or a statue of the largest hedgehog in the world…


Look how happy she is waiting for her first international flight! Look how concerned I am because I hate flying and know I have to spend the next week and a half non-stop with my mom.

I finally ate! Because we didn’t know completely what was going on the dentist determined the best option was a last minute, emergency root canal. I’ve had one before with no problem. This one was painful AF! The four hours after were excruciating as I waited for them to fill my painkiller script. Of course by the time I got it the pain had receded. I have no pain and have finally eaten after days. I devoured the dinner and breakfast the plane gave me (passed out between the two for a horrible 3 hours of restless sleep).

After my exciting first drive in Europe, on the Autobahn no less, I needed to get unpacked and shower.


After check in we went for a walk to check out Heide. My mom got cold, tired, and couldn’t go much more than quarter mile. Fortunately in that time frame I got my first European geocache! It was hidden in a monument for those killed in WWII. It kind of felt weird knowing these people fought for the German side…but thanks guys for the cache.

Lastly back to the hotel restaurant where we shared an awesome cheese tray, my mom had some pork, and I ordered what my Google translator called a flat bread but turned out to be a whole thin crust pizza. Such is life.


Aww look how happy she is. So far people haven’t been that nice. My bathroom sink was broken and I got a “so what” answer. When I asked for my trade mark Diet Coke I was snapped at that it’s called Coke Light. We were given German menus which I thought nothing about. I took pictures and my phone translated (we live in the future). After seeing us struggling for a while and not being able to order after the 3rd visit from our waiter another waiter came up and asked us if we wanted a menu in English. The second waiter took over our table so that was cool. He was nicer but cold (I was told to expect that about German’s, no one smiles). We were 2 of 4 people in the restaurant so I didn’t feel bad taking up their time. Asshats.

I had intended to write this post when I got back to my room. I laid down and was out before I could open the laptop. Currently I’m having trouble waking my mom for breakfast so I’ll try to send this post while I wait. Internet here is barely existent. Good luck little post, I hope you make your destination and don’t get lost in the German interwebs.

One thought on “Reisen ist die gesündeste Sucht

  1. Pingback: Small Adventures #1-5 – The Yuppie Hobo

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